#RevengeTour: 49ers will destroy the Chiefs in Super Bowl 55

Crystal Scuor
BarnBurner Sports Writer

@49ersCryssy

Thursday, July 16, 2020


I read a headline out of NFL.com today that said, “The Chiefs just won another Super Bowl! Why Kansas City will repeat,” and it ruffled my gold and red feathers.

 

To be honest, I nearly threw up in my mouth.

 

I can hardly hear the Tomahawk chop without crying and curling up into a ball on the floor of my 419 square foot condo. By the way, that chant needs to change. Maybe take some notes from that NFL team in Washington already. Sheesh.

 

Anyway, back to my rant.

 

As a fan—of any sport, for that matter—it’s hard to think back on the tough losses.

 

Super Bowl 54 will always be the one that got away. Seriously. I went into self-isolation (pre-COVID) simply because I could not fake a smile on my face. So instead, I cozied up in bed, ate ice cream for breakfast, and let myself fall apart while watching reruns of NBC’s This is Us. You know, just so I could feel a different kind of pain that didn’t involve a pigskin and a ketchup-loving, froggy-sounding quarterback who invaded every single TV broadcast with his cutesy comment, “I’m going to Disney World!”

 

Okay, Patrick Mahomes is pretty, pretty good. I’ll give the kid that.

 

I mean…he was 26-for-42 with 286 passing yards and two passing touchdowns. He also added 29 rushing yards and his own TD. He played like a Super Bowl champion, 100%. As much as it hurts to admit, the lil froggy turned into Crazy Frog in the last quarter and made the comeback of the year. Just like he so casually did in every playoff game leading up to the main stage.

 

Fast-forward to July 6th and Mahomie got THE bag. I’m talking the biggest contract in NFL history: a 10-year extension worth up to $503 million US. If you convert that amount into Canadian dollars—for all my Northern NFL fans—that’s a whopping $682, 757, 110.00.

 

Just a complete side note: is Patrick Mahomes single yet? Asking for a friend…

 

The 24-year-old’s deal ranks the highest amongst his fellow quarterbacks. Below him are some of the greats, including:

 

Seattle Seahawks QB – Russell Wilson - $35 million/year

 

Pittsburgh Steelers  QB – Ben Roethlisberger - $34 million/year

 

Aaron Rodger QB – Green Bay Packers - $33. 5 million/year

 

Jared Goff QB – Los Angeles Rams - $33.5 million/year

 

Kirk Cousins QB – Minnesota Vikings - $33 million/year

 

Carson Wentz QB – Philadelphia Eagles - $32 million/year

 

Dak Prescott QB – Dallas Cowboys - $31.5 million/year

 

Matt Ryan QB – Atlanta Falcons - $30 million/year

 

Ryan Tannehill QB – Tennesee Titans - $29.5 million/year

 

By the way, Colts quarterback Jacoby Brissett comes in at the 11th highest paid player in the NFL making $27.9 million per year. Yes, you read that right. Some of these players just don’t belong.

 

Up next, Jimmy Garoppolo comes in at number 12 with $27.5 million per year.

 

Dude just brought a dishevelled group of 49ers to the Super Bowl in his first REAL year as a starter. You know, after that whole ACL tear thing in Week 3 of 2018-19 season. Ironically enough, he was injured in a game against…the…Kansas City Chiefs. What are the odds?

 

Anyhoo.

 

All kidding aside, Mahomes isn’t the only one who broke the bank with a fresh contract. KC signed defensive tackle Chris Jones on a four-year $85 million contract with an insane $60 million in total guarantees.

 

So, you’re going to tell me that just because a few players got paid, the Chiefs are winning yet another Super Bowl? Oh, hell nahhhh.

 

NFL.com should hire me because honestly, the peeps who work for them right now are sniffing some hardcore glue. Not actually. But this writer claims that just because KC levelled up in July, they are winning the next Super Bowl.

 

Okay, I see your hyperbolic statement and raise you this: IF the Chiefs end up in the SB this next season, and IF it’s a rematch against the (best team in the NFL) 49ers, San Fran is hoisting the Lombardi trophy loud and proud, and our QB ain’t going to Disney World. No offence.

 

The Hot Boyz are burning it down at Raymond James Stadium in Tampa Bay—sorry, TB12—and are completing the Revenge Tour of a lifetime.

 

Mahomes just made all this money. Cool story, bro. In his second year as a starter, he brought his team to a Super Bowl and won them a championship. Let me remind you, Jimmy G brought his team to a SB in his FIRST real year as a starter (coming off injury, just a friendly reminder). He doesn’t make as much money. He’s not as young. But the Patriots installed a winning mentality in him—thank you, Belichick—that is unprecedented. 

 

And might I remind you, Jimmy doesn’t make the coin Mahomes does.

 

In my experience on this earth, money changes people.

 

I look at Mahomes like a young Justin Bieber. So hot, so fresh. Hitting the NFL scene like a young Aaron Rodgers. Only difference is, KC was stupid enough to give Patty an absolutely jaw-dropping deal that (I personally think) will mess with his head. 

 

Remember what happend to the Biebs? He peed in a mop bucket.

 

Example A: Ben Roethlisberger. Dude was given a HUGE bag and look at him now.

 

Big Ben won the trophy at 23 years young. Might I add, he won against the Seahawks in 2006, which makes my whole soul smile. Thanks, Benny boy. Following the big win, Ben didn’t make it back to the big game until 2009.

 

Money changes people.

 

Y’all ever heard of Michael Vick? Okay, he’s obviously very different than Mahomes. However, Vick inked a 10-year, $130 million deal, which at the time in 2004 was the biggest in NFL history.

 

The Falcons won just 15 games (15-16 in Vick starts) in the two seasons after he signed the contract. He completed less than 55 percent of his total passes in that time frame.

 

Mahomes is the Comeback Kid. He works well under pressure, don’t get me wrong. But he’s never had THAT much money riding on a game. It’ll be interesting to see how the young buck will live up to his contract. He may be the best at his position, especially at his age, but the 49ers have the same talent at the position of tight end.

 

George Kittle is a beast. I don’t care what you think about the 49ers, go look at the film from the San Fran vs. New Orleans game from this past season. Kittle carried the whole New Orleans team on his back. And he’s one player who will get the bag and literally run with it. He knows his worth. But more importantly, money aside, he understands his value to his teammates.

 

His character is something to admire.

 

Kittle has that WWE vibe mixed with the heart of a gridiron warrior. He won’t stop at ANYTHING. Regardless of the dollar signs beside his name, he plays for the love of the game.

 

Now, I’m not saying Mahomes doesn’t do the same. I’m just saying, the Niners proved a whole lot of people wrong when they showed up at the Super Bowl this past season.

 

#ThePretenders

 

And if and when they get back, revenge is a dish best served GOLD.

 

Enter Nick Bosa.

 

Rookie on defense, but a beast on the field. Bosa, dimple smile and all, played every single game this past season. He had 9 sacks. In his ROOKIE season. And he pulled off the best flag plant in the history of football. Sorry, Baker Mayfield.

 

Look at the 49ers D: no team allowed fewer net yards per passing attempt than San Fran’s 4.8. And their 150 allowed passing first downs TIED with the Pats for the league lead. Niners finished with the fewest air yards—just 1,320.

 

Since the team traded DeForest Buckner to the Colts (sad), the 49ers inked free safety Jimmie Ward and defensive lineman Arik Armstead—who led the team with 10 sacks last season.

 

Imagine what Javon Kinlaw can add to that core. If he can step into his role and become a crucial piece in the middle of the pocket, the 49ers defense will be scarier than ever.

 

And please, remember these names: Fred Warner. Kwon Alexander. And Dre Greenlaw (Seahawks hate to read that one).

 

These linebackers remind me of the Bowman and Willis days, for real.

 

There are SO many other names I could drop here, but you get the point. If the Chiefs make it back to the Super Bowl, you best believe the 49ers will be right there alongside them.

 

And this time, the block is going to be hotter than ever.

 

Get your Shanahats ready because if the NFL kicks off this season, the 49ers will be embarking on a journey they were MADE for. No cap. And that journey will lead them to a Super Bowl championship, without any crazy contract deals necessary.

 

Except for Kittle. He’ll get paid. But please pay the man already. I am unwell.

 

All I’m saying is this; the 49ers have EVERY single piece they need to make it back to the Super Bowl. And yes, so do the Kansas City Chiefs.

 

But when and if both teams end up in Tampa for the big game, the San Francisco 49ers are holding the hardware this time around.

 

And we don’t need to pay our QB $503 million dollars to do so.

 

Photo courtesy of Niners Wire